You will figure out when I’m in the middle of an anxious situation that I cannot settle is that I scribble on any paper and fill it up with random lines. Sometimes, I fold a paper crane origami from every paper that is available. Today, my mind is full of thoughts, I don’t want to drift to sleep and not being able to write. I do not want to stack my mind with thoughts this whole week without even saying anything.
“There is something wrong with your brain.” Somebody blurted this out to me after telling my decision. Yes, maybe there is, I affirmed in a way of those words. It does not mean that I really have a mental illness, but I cannot explain or even understand what is happening and what will happen. I do not know, yes I am crazy. You can tell me I am crazy when I believe in a God who is crazier than me. Not to offend my God, but yes, His plans are unimaginable and unpredictable. His ways are unfathomable. You may not understand why because I myself even tell Him in an honest way, “Di ko talaga gets, God. (but I trust in You alone)”
I asked those questions like, “Am I really meant to not stay in a place for a long time? Am I really meant to move?” And then as I was waiting for my flight to take off, sitting beside the window, I steadied my hands holding my phone camera and turned the time-lapse video on. It took me like almost 30 minutes until I stop recording. Of course I got impatient but if I stop the recording in the middle, it would be a wasteful time-lapse video in the first place. It was a waiting game for me but I expect that the plane will eventually fly, so I waited while doing something like recording a time-lapse video.
Just as my current phase right now, I am anxiously waiting but I need to move, I need to do something and be expectant. I don’t want to stop believing that my God would stop. I know He will never stop. He wanted me to move because if I don’t move in my own time-lapse video, it would be the most boring video ever, right?
It may be hard for me to wait and settle right now but I want to think of it as a travel time for me to just be fascinated by His awesome wonders. Like during my 1.5-hour flight to Cebu. I wanna share some of my snaps: