End of July, I made two big decisions for two consecutive days.
It’s not an impulsive one but I’ve anticipated about it.
And right now, August 1 seemed too slow for me because I’ve stopped and stood still:
Like what I felt that moment in my bed where my whole body was in fatigue that I am awake yet I cannot get up;
Like in those moments when I let the train pass by in front of me without stepping in;
Like when rain started falling but I do not want to open my umbrella yet;
Like the moment when I walked around Mt. Makiling Recreational Center without wearing my eyeglasses an even bringing my camera with me;
Like those moments when I just want to look at that beautiful sunset and enjoy it as it says goodbye..and when night comes, I still look at the sky and find the moon.
I still find that light. I know there is a light. I know the sun is there, or even the moon. Even tho I cannot see it because I know the truth that it wont disappear.
I found myself again in a middle of a space where nobody is accountable for me except me.
I don’t want to be sad about it but I like the truth of being faced on how we have the freedom to choose but wont be able to escape the result of those choices.
I’ve counted up the cost. I know it will be, no, it IS worth it;
Maybe I just need to reach out to my pain killer for my body pain to ease..
Maybe another train would come again with less people (which is better) that I can ride again..
Maybe the strong wind just blew the rain for just a minute and it will all be gone..
Maybe I can come back and roam around MMRC again with my glasses and be able to take pictures..
Maybe I can wait for the sun to come back by waking up before sunrise and welcome the morning. And I can walk around a hill at night so I can see where the moon is shining..
Maybe it’s not a ‘maybe’. Because I know IT WILL happen, by faith.
I’m just standing still. Because I know YOU are there.